That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
