good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
