I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
