i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
