My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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