it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
