i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
