Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I deserve to be covered in dicks
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize