Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
