I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
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