Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
