my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
