Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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