Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
