thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize