Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
