i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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