So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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