I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
