a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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