Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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