that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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