is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
