Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
