Im at strip club and am horny
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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