Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
