Cold hands, warm shart.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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