Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
