TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
