i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
