How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
