one two three fourrrrnication!
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
