I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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