I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
