47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
