just tell him i said nine months
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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