Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Farmville is her only friend.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
