jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
