Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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