sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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