Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
