Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
