Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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