I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
