i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
