He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
