i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
