I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
