the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
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