You're so nebulous sometimes
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
