Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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