I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I FOUND THE LEGS
After tacos, we're chasing women.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize