It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
