i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
