just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
