brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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