the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
