listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
