This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
