I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
