i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
