'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Randomize