GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
