im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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