I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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