Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
