I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
