Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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