Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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