I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
